You've seen the line of faces at the doctor's office, helpfully lined up above a row of numbers. "Rate your pain." Compartmentalize it in a numerical value between zero and ten. Mild to unimaginable, neat and tidy on an axis.
I struggled with this concept until a couple of years ago, when I made my own pain scale based on my experiences.
1, mild: chapped skin
2, discomforting: papercut
3, tolerable: muscle pull, bruise
4, distressing: sunburn, burns in general
5, very distressing: migraine
6, intense: plantar fasciitis
7, very intense: ulcer
8, horrible: back spasm
9, excruciating: unmedicated major depression, endometriosis
10, unimaginable: deep grief, anxiety attack
Easy to understand and use: is what I feel worse or better than a migraine, and by how much? Can I ignore it, like chapped skin, or does it permeate every aspect of my life, like depression?
2016's final screw-you to me was my health declining in December. A simple cold became a sinus infection requiring antibiotics and a doctor's note for two days of missed work. That wasn't pain, but the slow knowledge that I was getting worse instead of better. Over the month I also noticed it was getting harder for me to walk. My steps were slower and smaller, as well as painful (pain I ascribed to plantar fasciitis). I wondered if it was my major depressive disorder. Psychomotor retardation is a symptom in severe cases (I'm suicidal when unmedicated, so I figure I'm a severe case). Then I realized that my knees hurt worse than my feet, radiating outward, and made an appointment at the medical center. The day after x-rays, I left work in tears because I was in too much pain (9 on the scale) to finish my shift. The day before yesterday I got results back: both knees have arthritis, which I experience as a 7 or 8 on the pain scale. I can take it down to 6 on extra-strength Tylenol combined with Aleve, 5 if not active.
But arthritis has no treatment other than physical therapy and over-the-counter pain relief, so I'm told. Surgeons won't consider me for replacement knees for another twenty years at least. Exercise--how? I can barely walk! Won't long-term use of pain relievers mess up my liver or my stomach? I'm going to be at this level of pain the rest of my life? How will I be able to work? Why do I get diseases that grind me down like a nail file, instead of just killing me outright and being done with it?
On the bright side, at least this time no one's trying to tell me it's all in my head (like with the ulcer, endometriosis, and depression) or that if I had faith in God I would be well (endometriosis, depression).
Enough of me. What's your fp tonight?